Belinda Reviews: Elizabeth Scott's - "As I Wake"

I picked this book up at the library on cover art alone… well, that and the blurb on the inside cover.

A girl dressed in an oversized black jumper, covering her face with clenched fists and her hair is being blown off her face but it’s morphing into smoke. It looked intriguing and beautiful to me.

The following is the blurb as it appears on

“Ava is welcomed home from the hospital by a doting mother, lively friends, and a crush finally beginning to show interest. There’s only one problem: Ava can’t remember any of them – and can’t shake the eerie feeling that she’s not who they say she is.

Ava struggles to break through her amnesiac haze as she goes through the motions of high-school life, but the memories that surface take place in a very different world, where Ava and familiar-faced friends are under constant scrutiny and no one can be trusted. Ava doesn’t know what to make of these visions, or of the boy who is at the center of them all, until he reappears in her life and offers answers . . .

but only in exchange for her trust.”

I have always wondered about déjà vu. The French translation is ‘already seen’. Some reports say it is a misfire of our neurons. It has also been said that it is a form of foresight, or precognition; that feeling that we’ve been here before, or have met someone but not in this life.

For Ava, opening her eyes to a strange reality she doesn’t remember at all makes her déjà vu episodes feel comforting more than off-putting. Any memories are better than no memory at all, even if these memories are horrific and sometimes downright scary.

It was interesting to delve into the unsettling premise of As I Wake. The need for love at any cost, moral and ethical standards weighed against the desperation of a heartbroken mother with an option of second chance with a daughter she had lost long before she died.

If you had the chance to stay in a reality that may be easy and luxurious knowing the love of your life is in a parallel reality, and to be with him would mean living the life of a fugitive, what would you choose?

If you’re sick of candy, sweet, fluffy romance books this is your cure. It’s gritty, haunting and makes you think. Be prepared to leave a night light on.

Hardcover, 269 pages

Published September 15th 2011 by Dutton Juvenile ISBN 0525422099 (ISBN13: 9780525422099)

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