10 Tips for dating an Evil Genius
But maybe you just aren’t cut out to rule the planet; there’s nothing wrong with that. Not everyone has the ambition required to get together the wealth and personnel to seize all.
This is where dating has its advantages.
There are plenty of people out there with aspirations for planetary conquest; some of them looking for that special someone to rule by their side.
Here are some points that are useful to know if you intend for this kind of special partnership to bloom.
10. Location, Location, Location
You won’t usually find evil geniuses hanging out in coffee shops looking for a date while sipping a latte.
Finding your one true love can be a difficult journey; you can either take a holiday to secluded, volcanic islands in the hope that you will meet someone walking along the beach, or get creative and put out a personal ad that will catch the eye of a powerful tyrant.
Once you have made contact with your ambitious love interest, the first thing you will notice is that there will be many people in his/her life.
Don’t be worried: these people are just henchmen. Henchmen are underlings in an Evil Genius’s lifestyle; they carry out menial tasks and keep things running smoothly so that you and your new love can get on with more important things like dating and destroying Paris.
An Evil Genius loves their pets, be it their aquarium full of laser sharks or pack of carefully trained tigers.
These animals fulfil necessary roles but need love just as much as any house pet.
A fondness for animals is a great thing to share with your intended.
Occasionally people will come into the life of your Evil Genius in an attempt to bring their “ambitions” to an end. It may seem that your love is spending an awful lot of time and effort on these individuals. Jealousy is a natural reaction.
Fear not- any Genius worth your time will have ways to rid these people from your lives and so your worries will be short lived.
It can be hard to budget when your partner is an Evil Genius. They aren’t being cheap, just careful with their hard earned “loot”. After all, they have a business to run and until their bold venture pays off, you may need to tighten your purse strings.
Making your money stretch can be as easy as going out for picnics along the rim of the volcano or taking long walks together around the lair.
Once your and your Evil Genius have settled in to a romantic life together travel will become frequent and exotic. Sure, a lot of the places you go to will be on business trips, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourselves.
Remember to take lots of photos for your album; the place you go to may not be there once your Evil Genius’s plan gets in motion.
Reputation is a very important thing to an Evil Genius. He/she is judged by what they do and whether they succeed or fail.
You can help by working with them to improve their image. Stand by their side at parties, learn to network with their colleagues and competition, and, if possible, help to remove obstacles from their career.
The lair of an Evil Genius is a place of privacy as well as business.
Many of the things that your partner gets up to will be questionable, and the governments of the world won’t stop until they learn everything.
Give your partner as much space as they need to work, and be sure to make sure that all the lair’s security up to scratch. No one likes it when the surprise is ruined.
The end goal for any Evil Genius is their Doomsday Weapon. This is the pride and joy of your partner and will take up all of their attention until it is ready to use.
It may be a death-ray, silo full of nuclear missiles or just a plague designed to wipe out all life. No matter the tool, your wonderfully ambitious partner will want to bring it to bear as soon as possible.
Once the world learns of what your partner has to offer they will give anything to keep him/her happy.
Maybe your partner’s ambitions are too much. Maybe you just can’t stand the constant flow of secret agents trying to seduce the Genius you thought you could trust. Or maybe you just don’t want to live in a space station any more.
Whatever the reason it may be time for you to cut your losses and get out of the relationship.
Evil geniuses can be a moody bunch and may not appreciate you wanting to go. So my advice to you is to wait until everyone is occupied and slip out quietly.
It may seem like a cowardly thing to do but it’s better than ending up as dinner for a pack of hungry tigers.