Life with Lisa: How to Eat Your Oreo (Chocolate Biscuit)

1. The whole thing all at once:
This means that you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree, with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponisble. No one should trust you with their children or small, sharp objects.

2. One bite at a time:
You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos the same exact way. And, just like them, you lack imagination, but that’s okay, not to worry–you’re normal.

3. Slow and methodical nibbles, examining the results of each bite afterwards:
You follow the rules. You’re very tidy and orderly. You’re very meticulous in every detail with everything you do to the point of being anal retentive and downright irritating to others who are just enjoying life. So, leave us alone already–and stay out of the fast lane if you’re only going to go under the speed limit.

4. In ferverous nibbles:
Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them.  Valium and Ritalin would probably do you some good. Take two, they’re small.

5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee, etc.):
Everyone likes you because you’re always upbeat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You end each day with a rousing rendition of “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow!”

6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie:
You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work. Though not always able to put them back together, you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You would make an excellent federal employee.

7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie:
You are good at business and take risks that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. Apply now for an upper management position!

8. Just the cookie, not the inside:
You enjoy pain.

9. Just lick them, not eat them:
Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional help–immediately!

10. No favorite way – you don’t like Oreos:
You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. Loosen up.

  • I like Mini Oreos. 😉
    I have been known to twist the cookie off and combine the cream from about 7 of them and eat the cookies of all but the two on either end of the big ball of cream by themselves then slowly squeeze the over creamed cookie licking away at the cream that has squished out the sides until it’s normal size again and then it all goes in one bite.

    I have no leg to stand on when I tell my daughter not to play with her food.

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