by Mandy Wrangles

So, you like vampires, huh? Um, I hate to break it to you, but isn’t that a little passé? I mean, with the current glut of bloodsuckers out there, aren’t we supposed to be over them and chewing at the bit for the ‘next big thing’?  Everywhere we turn in the bookshop, online, television and the movies, another vampire and his/her crew have popped up. Generally, they’re pining for the short mortal life they once had, in love with a human and fighting their natural instinct to gut and devour them. Oh, and they’re always ridiculously good looking… aren’t they?

Well, no. Sure, some of the vampires of late might fit that mould, but it’s a modern day phenomenon. The Vampire Diaries, Twilight, Vampire Academy, House of Night, Evernight and about seven thousand and twenty-nine more. Some (lots) of them are even pretty cool. But have there just been too, too many? Do you groan out loud when you see a book or movie trailer for another vampire story? Or do your fingers twitch gleeful anticipation, does your heart begin to pump that little bit faster in anticipation of release day? Do you expect your vampires to charm the pants off you before they eat?

Or, has the (ahem) well run dry? Are bloodsuckers yesterday’s news?

I don’t think so. Yes, the current trend to elevate our favourite monsters into the stratosphere of all-things-hot-and-yummy might just be running its course. But what about those vamps who are the real thing? The monsters, the demons, the really, truly bad guy vampires? They’ve been around in folklore since – well forever – in many different guises. I don’t see them going anywhere soon. We might be a little full up with being fed the same old modern day bloodsucker, especially since so many are so similar. We all love a bad guy with a heart, but I hate to be the one to break the news – vampire hearts aren’t supposed to beat. And it’s those vampires – the ones with the shrivelled up life-muscle that I believe will never really go away.

Publishers and movie makers are moving away from vampires, looking for the next big thing – angels, shape-shifters, mermaids and co. But vampires have been with us forever, they’re not going anywhere in a hurry. They’ll morph and change, fit in with whatever it is society wants or needs from them. Let’s face it; that’s how they’ve survived this long already. I think we’ll see more vamps like those in True Blood and Being Human. I’m looking forward to seeing what author Claudia Gray does with ‘Balthazar’, her spin-off to the Evernight series. The vampires in Cassandra Clare’s Mortal Instruments series also still have a way to go with their Shadow Hunter counterparts, and they’re certainly vamps who can’t always be trusted. (AND ride flying motorbikes!) Granted, most of them are hot (hey, I never said I had anything against a gorgeous vampire), but they’re more dangerous, more driven by their thirst and need to feed their murderous instincts. We’ll also see more classic vampire-types, like Lestat and his buddies from Anne Rice’s novels, Kurt Barlow from Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot and of course, The Master from Buffy and the granddaddy of them all, Dracula himself.

Vampires will make a big, bad comeback – not that they’ll ever really go away – and when they do, be careful. Keep the garlands of garlic slung around your window, the crucifix beside your bed. Because when bloodsuckers come knocking once more, they’ll be bigger, badder and thirstier than ever. And in the meantime, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying those impossibly good looking, angsty vamps. Just remember… they’re all monsters underneath.

Over the last few years we’ve seen a huge rise in the popularity of vampires. But mostly, they’re a different ‘breed’ to the vamps seen around the traps until a few years ago. Suddenly, the undead aren’t so dead, they mope and moan and wish they were human, complaining about the loss of their souls and the agony of living for eternity.

Physically, they’re hotter than hot; far better looking than their human counterparts, which is not a bad deal when you consider what a 200 year old walking corpse should actually look like.  They have a tendency to be filthy rich – as you should be when you’ve got forever to learn which banks give the best returns and let’s face it; their grocery bill is always at a minimum. The modern vampire is also often a ‘day-walker’, that is, sunlight might make him a little uncomfortable, but it doesn’t turn them to a dusty void of nothingness.

Yes, it seems the true vamp is disappearing fast with our modern twist on mythology. Gone are the days of vampires being horrendously ugly monsters, like Nosferatu or The Master from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. These were creatures to be feared, to be repulsed by, the ones who used mind-warping powers to trick you into the opening the window at night and letting them in to suck your life force. Sure, there’s still a few of the old monstrous breed around. They’re not completely extinct. Just check out Marlow and his band of shark-mouthed nasties from 30 Days of Night, or, again from Buffy, the uber-vamps from series 7 – seriously unsexy. Eli from Let the Right One In has to be one of the creepiest vampires in modern tales, not to mention Salem’s Lot’s Kurt Barlow or Viktor from the Underworld trilogy.

But it’s not all black and white, sexy or unsexy, good or evil. No, bloodsuckers these days can have the best of both worlds; there’s a lot of grey in between. No longer is the vampire just a monster with an unquenchable thirst for blood, but he can have feelings too. Think Damon from The Vampire Diaries or even Lestat de Lioncourt from Anne Rice’s deliciously indulgent Vampire Chronicles. These two never pretend to be anything but primal pulse-seeking bloodsuckers – but that doesn’t make them incapable of love. Then of course, there’s the Vamp of the Moment – Eric Northman of Charlaine Harris’ Southern Vampire Mysteries (also the TV series True Blood, in case you’ve been hiding in a coffin somewhere…) Eric is about as bad-arse as a vampire can get. He makes no secret of the fact he’s a superior being, a killer with no regard for human pettiness. But oh… Eric *sigh*. With abs like that – well, he can get away with anything.

Then, there’s another breed of the modern vampire all together. The just-left-of-human one. Yes, I’m talking about those that sparkle. They might drink blood, but do they even qualify as vampires? And what about tales such as Richelle Mead’s Vampire Academy, set in a world where the (mostly) good guys – the Moroi – might be vampires, but they’re far from dead? In Claudia Gray’s Evernight series, it’s not always the vamps who are the evil doers, but the misunderstanding humans – The Black Cross; a misinformed sub-culture of slayers.

What about the bloodsuckers who don’t know which side of the fence they hang, those who are confused or bewitched, or just trying too damn hard to be good without the inevitable slip-up? Stefan from The Vampire Diaries comes to mind, as does the whole Vampire with a Soul issue that spun around Buffy and Angel for so long. I don’t know about you, but I have a soft spot for the sarcasm and evil-knows-no-bounds of Angelus versus the sweet, but sometimes predictable Angel. And while we’re in Sunnydale, what about Spike? Was he more fun as the bloodthirsty consort of Drusilla, or once he was implanted with the brain chip, effectively neutering him? And then he went and got himself a soul at the end of series 6, changing a whole lot of things.

Personally, I like a mixture of the old and new vampire stories. I’m a sucker for the evil-doer, but also a huge fan of many of today’s new-style vamps. So what about you? How do you take your bloodsucker? With a spoonful of sugar and a little on the sweet side, or straight up, bitter and twisted?

MUSIC: Marilyn Manson – If I Was Your Vampire

Mandy Says:

Vampires and Bloodsuckers. The eternal question – just why do we love them so? Vampires. What’s not to love? Well, a lot, really. They kill people. In very nasty ways. And then there’s the disgusting habit of the blood sucking. And if they’re not the type to sate their hunger via a smooth, irresistibly pulsating human neck – they suck the life out of animals. Eew. Rat’s blood, pig’s blood. So not attractive.

Not to mention the ghastly white complexion and food allergy issues (I’m thinking garlic, here, or lemons if we’re talking medieval vamps.) So… why? Why are vampires the hottest thing around right now? Why can’t we get enough of them in books, on television or at the movies?

Actually, vampires have been hot for a number of decades now. For me, the love affair (yeah, I was just fooling with you) began in earnest with Anne Rices’ Lestat and Louis too many years ago in Interview with The Vampire. Not that they were my first. Good old Count Vlad himself was my introduction to the world of the damned. (I was five. Blame the babysitter.) Before I met Lestat and his buddies, I’d also experienced sheer terror with Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot among many other ‘traditional’ type vamps. But Rice’s vampires were different. They were impossible not to love. They were deep, meaningful, intriguing and spectacularly beautiful. So where did it really begin?

Bram Stoker was certainly the first to bring vampires to popular fiction, but it’s not like he made them up. No, vampires and their equivalents have been part of our mythology since – well – forever. Most cultures have their own version of the vampire, or a similar blood-sucking fiend. There’s the Aswang from the Phillipines, the Kukudhi from Albania, the Apotamkin that Native Americans told stories of to scare their children out of wandering off at night. The Roma Gypsies had the Mullo entrenched in their folklore and the Ancient Greeks had the Vrykolakas. In China you could find stories of the blood-drinking Chiang-shih and in Romania, the Strigoi Mort.

These days, most of our vampire mythology in popular culture derives from south eastern Europe. Except… none of these being were creatures to be lusted after. They were terrifying in the extreme. So what changed? When did vamps go and get themselves all sexy?

Even Mina from Bram Stoker’s Dracula knows the answer to that one. Danger, darkness, mystery. We all want a bit, don’t we? Mina still fell for Dracula when she already had the mortal Jonathan Harker (okay, okay, she was under a spell. I choose to ignore that.) And everyone knows that vampires are ridiculously good looking, even if they are undead. Really, suntans are soo passé. Vampires are seductive, irresistible – it’s part of how the modern bloodsucker lures their prey.

Today’s vampire sleeps all day (if he/she sleeps at all) and parties all night. They’re super-strong, young and gorgeous. But mostly, it’s the immortal thing that’s so alluring. Death is the one thing none of us can escape, but vampires have that one beat. Unless, of course, a pesky slayer cuts off their head, or stabs them with a pointy bit of wood, or sets them on fire. Ahh, The Slayer.

Almost as much a part of our culture as Vampires themselves. Abraham Van Helsing is the earliest famous vampire hunter to spring to mind. There were the slap-stick  Frog brothers in the late 80’s film The Lost Boys, which of course, introduced us to the totally awesome David (Kiefer Sutherland) and his band of motorbike riding vampires. But the most famous vampire slayer of modern times has to be Buffy. And even she wasn’t immune to the allure of falling for not one, but two vampires, the brooding Angel and the way-cooler Spike (actually, it was three if you count that episode when she had a ‘thing’ with Dracula himself). Then, there’s modern fiction. You can’t go into a book shop now without running into bloodsuckers, which, in my opinion, is more than a good thing.

Vampire Academy, The Morganville Vampires, The Vampire Diaries, Twilight, House of Night, Evernight, Darren Shan and Oliver Nocturne with their myriad of vampire-themed novels, The Blue Bloods, Vampire Beach, Vampire Kisses… I could fill a page with the series that can be found in the Young Adult section alone. Bring it on, I say. The more vampire tales, the better. All have their own individual take on vamp mythology, all with different quirks and issues.

So I’ll ask again, what’s not love? The diet? Get over it. We’ve all gotta eat. How was that steak you had for dinner last night? The pale, pasty skin thing? Like I said, suntans are so not cool, we all know that. Nocturnal sleeping patterns? Pfft, I know plenty of people who sleep most of the day and wake at night. It’s called shift work. And the garlic problem? Well, who wants bad breath anyway? Yes, it’s easy to see why we love vampires so much. If you can turn a blind eye to their minor downsides, vampires are the perfect form of escapism. Seriously, who doesn’t want to be young, gorgeous and live forever?

I tell you, I’m friends with quite a few vampires around the world. I even worked for a famous one for a while. Anyways, I decided to have a bit of fun with the ten commandments for my tips for dating a Vampire. (You know, that cute one who lives next door, who you’ve been friends with for ages) *eyebrow wiggle*.

TEN: ‘You shall not covet your neighbour’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbours.’
~ If you want something he has, circle it in catalogues and leave it lying around his house so he can get an idea of what gifts to buy you. If you’re yearning after an ox or a donkey, in this day and age, you may need more help than he can give you.

NINE: ‘You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.’
~ Nobody likes a liar. If he asks if there’re bits of his dinner in his fangs, tell him the truth.

EIGHT: ‘You shall not steal.’
~ He’ll know if you borrowed that Nine Inch Nails CD. Be sure to give it back.

SEVEN: ‘You shall not commit adultery.’
~ Who wants a girlfriend who can’t be faithful? Not him, obviously.

SIX: ‘You shall not murder.’
~ Yeah, he doesn’t want to die. Talk with words, not a stake.

FIVE: ‘Honor your father and your mother.’
~ He’ll probably want to be around you a fair bit, so you’ll both have to get on the good side with the respective parental units.

FOUR: ‘Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.’
~He’ll really want to spend Halloween with you. Keep the day free on your calendar. Oh, and if Ozzy Osbourne tours again, be prepared to party hearty.

THREE: ‘You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.’
~ Avoid using the names of the higher powers. I.E. God, Jesus, Allah, etc, it will make him choke on his soft drink.

TWO: ‘You shall not make for yourself a carved image–any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.’
~ He’s probably on the run from a vampire hunter (or some crackpot who thinks they are one). So don’t lead the hunter right to him by posting his picture all over your FB. Not even those pics of him in his hot board shorts at the beach with his shirt off.

ONE: ‘You shall have no other gods before Me.’
~ Really I think what it means here is: once you go Drac, you’ll never go back.

Music: Vampire Weekend – Giving Up The Gun

"Please!! I can't take it! No more about about Edward @#$%&* Cullen!!"

Bec Says

Fangs, fangs, everywhere. Will vampire fever ever simmer down? Did anyone see the good/evil switcheroo on The Vampire Diaries tonight? (Don’t do it Stefan!!!) Just when you think you know a blood-sucker… Attention fans of the L.J. Smith books: how does the show stack up? Is it a good adaptation?

Now that we’ve been completely inundated with vampy goodness, I wonder who everyone’s favourite characters/books/movies/shows are… One of  the many versions of Dracula since Bram Stoker’s original? Vlad the Impaler (Stoker’s inspiration)? Irma Vep? House of Night? The Hunger? Lestat? Vampire Academy? Vampireology? The Vampire Diaries? Marked? Buffy/Angel? Nosferatu? Vampire Hunter D? Twilight? The Lost Boys? Fright Night? Or…you know…this guy:

MUSIC!! An oldie, but a goodie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOn1037ZLwA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e0u11rgd9Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mriBc6NjUhg&feature=related

Ah, the 80s: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj4jJ2ItqjI&NR=1